I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
