I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
