I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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