She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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