Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
