Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
