i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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