I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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