Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
