I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
