There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
