Duck Duck Cougar?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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