the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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