I heard we made out
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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