I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
