Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
