I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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