So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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