you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
