He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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