I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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