I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
