i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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