New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
