I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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