He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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