I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
