rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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