I hate your face
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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