The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
