Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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