Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am available for nakedness
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
