Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
