What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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