I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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