How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
