At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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