I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am available for nakedness
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
