More tranny stories later!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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