WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
