I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
