So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
