I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
