I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
