life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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