I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
