carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
