Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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