But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
