You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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