guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
