I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
