its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
