So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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