I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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