I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
