before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
