come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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