he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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