Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
